Day 6

This joke could actually be funny if I put a bit more thought into it, but for now, it is less a joke, but the core of a joke....

How is Barry Bonds like a man sitting on a foam doughnut? They are both on 'roids.

Maybe this is why I am getting killed on SNG's lately

Last night, for I think the first time in my life, I seriously considered folding KK preflop. Of course I didn't and called two all-ins in a sit and go with KK. I was up against AA and JJ. I of course lost, but I was amazed that I thought about folding and almost did. But instead, I simply said show me AA as I hit the call button. Dumbass. At the time I was quasi-on tilt as I had had AA and QQ beaten by lesser pairs to knock me out of two SNG's in the previous 30 minutes. Maybe I should strike that quasi part. I ended up turning my night around a little bit, recovering some of what I had lost, but I am still down like 500 in SNGs over the last week. I have lowered my limits from the 50 back to the 20 and hope to recover my bankroll again. I think winning that 1600 sort of made my two big for my britches and I forgot that managing my bankroll is where it is at, not trying to get the quick win or the quick recovery. I still have like 500 in the bankroll for poker so I have time to plug the hole and keep my ship afloat.

Maybe that should be my poker goal. Getting to the point where I will fold KK instead of calling when I know I am beat.

Day 5

Well, here we are at day 5 in my experiment to see how long I can post daily (or near to) original jokes. So far so good. Today's installment is a poker joke, so all of you might not get it.

How is 5-way action after the turn like a honeymoon on the Nile?

Odds are, somebody's going to get fucked on the river.

Just me being a whore...

I have registered to play in the PokerStars World Blogger Championship of Online Poker!

This Online Poker Tournament is a No Limit Texas Holdem event exclusive to Bloggers.

Registration code: 7330476

Not day five, just a poker post.

Among poker bloggers, Felicia is quite famous. I've skipped by her page a few occassions over the last few years, but can't say I am a reader. I heard rumor a while ago that her page was only accessable to friends, but I just found my way on, so I am not sure there is truth to that rumor. Anyway, I just read her psychology of poker series and it is by far the best poker read I've ever had on a blog. Since I couldn't figure out how to send her a message saying such, I will just give her props via a post and a link.

Day 4

I made this joke up over the weekend. I am not sure if it has been made up by someone else first, but I came up with it on my own.

Premature ejaculation is a serious topic for men, and it affects men from all over the world and from every race. In fact, did you know that the famous Chief Sitting Bull suffered from it too? Perhaps you have heard of what Sitting Bull's dissatisfied squaw called him.

She called him a four stroke injun.

(To understand this joke, you must know that engines came come in different strokes. To learn more about the four stroke engine, go here.)

What do you make of it?

So I recently joined the Myspace revolution. It's actually been a good way to say hey to old friends. Anyway, there appears to be a webcam spam revolution going on with friends requests. One of these spam friend requests I got was from this chick (that's a link to a picture of her with some comment, not to a spammish page, just FYI). Now why did I link her picture? So you could check out "Steve" who left a comment. Steve's homepage reveals little information except one friend, her, the friend request spammer. Notice that he left his personal email (homerun0133@yahoo.com) on her picture. Is it just me, or does that seem odd and desperate? Maybe it happens all the time, but really, does he really expect a good response from an obvious cam-girl when he posts a comment on a picture of her ass (unless a good response is finding out how to pay her to strip).

TripJax Shout out

Being as he is one of like 3 poker content related readers of this page (and there is so much poker content on here) I thought I would participate in TripJax's blogroll questions.

1. What is the biggest mistake people make at a NL table?
I recently began playing some low limit NL at Party and I see people calling all in bets with pocket pairs with Aces on the board. What were they thinking? However, typically I play NL Sit and goes. As I sit here and think, I realize that I don't know what the biggest mistake I see there is. Perhaps I am not as good as I thought. Perhaps the one that I should mention is misplaying large pocket pairs after the flop, given that I have been prone to doing so.
2. What is the biggest mistake people make at a Limit table?
Not raising.
3. Why do you play poker?
Its a hobby that is fun and profitable. Not as profitable as I'd like, but I've made much more than I've lost.
4. If you weren't playing poker, what would you be doing?
Working, watching TV, talking on the phone, learning something that would make me a more well rounded person.
5. What is your favorite poker book and why?
What are these "poker books" you speak of?
6. Who is your favorite poker player and why?
After me, its gotta be Phil Ivey.
7. Which poker player do you dislike the most and why?
Hellmuth, because he's a whiney beotch. Sure he makes some good laydowns (actually that is the best part of his game), but his attitude sucks.
8. Do your coworkers know about your blog?
What are these "coworkers" you speak of?
9. What is the most you have won in a cash game or MTT (both live and online)?
CASH - Live - $300
Online - $150
MTT - Live $120
Online $2600 (I think I have made more than that, but my memory is a bit bad, I've had three over $1500 that I am sure of.)
10. What is the most you have lost in a cash game or in one day total (both live and online)?
$350ish.
11. Who was your first poker blog read?
I can't recall. Probably Chris Halverson.
12. What satisfies you more, your aces holding up for a big pot or a bluff working for a big pot?
Hate to say the bluff, but that is because I get Aces more than I bluff a big pot.
13. Why do you blog?
Who knows
14. Do you read blogs from an RSS reader like bloglines or do you visit each blog?
What is this bloglines you speak of? I go visit each page. I think I used to use the pokergrub for updates at to when people updated their page. But seriously, what is bloglines?
15. Would you rather play poker for a living than do what you currently do for a living?
I do play poker for a living, kind of.
16. Do you wear a tin foil hat on occasion?
No, just tin foil condoms
17. If you had to pin it down to one specific trait, what does a great poker player have (or do) that separates them from an average player?
Great poker players avoid getting emotionally involved in the outcome of any given hand. I don't have this trait.
18. Is Drizz the coolest person on the planet for naming his baby Vegas?
All signs point to yes
19. What is your primary poker goal and are you close to accomplishing it?
To be the best player at any table I sit at. No.
20. What is your primary online site and why?
Paradise. It broke my cherry and I like its MTT and sit and go setup.
21. What site do you dislike and why?
UB because of its layout. Visually hard to read and displeasing.

Amen.

It worries me too.

Day Three - Polish* Pick Up Lines

If I told you that you had a beautiful body, would you be angry?

Was your dad a thief because I'm missing my wallet.

Would you like to have breakfast? Should I have my mom make it or do you want to cook?

Did it hurt? (she asks what) When god threw you out of heaven and made you a fallen angel.

I lost my number, can you give it to me?

I don't work for UPS, so those brown shorts you are wearing really don't do it for me. (NOTE: This is a based on a pickup line I made up "I don't work for UPS so you can stop checking out my package.")

That a very becoming shirt. I just came in my pants looking at you in it.

Nice shoes? Did you get them at K-Mart?

*Insert Blonde Guy, or any other stereotype that represents an easily confused or stupid person.

That's day three of made up jokes. I'd like to think its my best work so far.