So..... I'm married, live in Portland....

I actually just logged on to delete the spam comments, and thought "What the hell, I'll post an update in case someone finds this." 

So, where to start.  Well, I am a married homeowner.  That's a big change.  I am a regular attorney, and have been for years.  I work for a great firm and enjoy it tremendously.  I am not currently a dog-owner or a parent, but both of those might change in the next year or so. 

It's hard to put a 4 year update together because I've lost all frame of reference. 

Inflation?

So, goes into some detail about how the brothels outside Vegas, and goes so far as to let you know that it costs $150 for a blowjob. Without going into too much detail, when I was back in college, some friends and I went to Canada for a long weekend trip. While there, one of my friends tried to proposition a prostitute for me (mind you, I didn't want him too, but he was a bit uncontrollable) and we all learned that the phrase "One hundred dollars minimum service". And that was Canadian dollars. 10 years ago. The price has gone up about 60% in ten years. Is that in line with the inflation rate? I'm not sure, but I thought I'd share for those 18 year olds who are wondering what prostitutes charge. I know I was curious at that age.

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Snakes on a Mutha Fooqing Plane

700 Snakes? Really? In one carryone? Meh, must not have been very big snakes.

Sorry excuse for a blog....

That is what this is...
So on Mother's Day I woke up to spots on my torso and limbs. I didn't know what they were, and called an aunt, wished her happy mother's day, and proceeded to ask her what to do (as I have never had anything like this happen before). She suggested benadryl. I took one and noticed things were getting worse, not better. I called my aunt again and she mentioned Menongitis and I went to the ER. I didn't see a doctor, just the triage nurse and she indicated that it didn't look like Menongelogphitis (I have no idea how to say it much less spell it) so I left before seeing a doctor. Then last night I took off my socks and found my feet were covered by spots. So I went to the ER again, found it it was a several hour wait, and decided to go to dodgeball pickup instead. Afterwards, I got some dinner, read through the internet on possible causes for my expanding rash, got freaked and went to the emergency room at 9:30.
Let me back up. My health has been bad for the previous two weeks. I had a tooth ache which I had for a few days before calling a dentist. When I did call my dentist, I found out he was going out of town for a few days and wouldn't be able to see me until last monday. Oy Vey! But he did prescribe me some Anoxacillan and some oxycodone. Then I went to see him Monday, found out I need a root canal and got one scheduled for that day. Then found out my new dental insurance doesn't cover my normal dentist so I had to cancel. With my new dental insurance, this is the benefits I get: Long waits, higher out of pocket prices (nearly that of what the non-insurance costs are at my old dentist), dentists who say they have offices near me but not when I need to see them, and I still haven't gotten the root canal done. Right after the dental fiasco, I came down with what I will call the flu. Sore joints, headaches, exhausted, sore throught, etc. That lasted several days and included night sweats. Those are not fun. Then I got these spots.
Oh, and the cause for the bumps. The Anoxicillan for the teeth. Figures.

So, is this a compliment

Myspace comments are wierd in that everyone sees what you say. I recently flirted with one girl and she added me as a friend, and therefore I could see her comments (she had it set to private). Well, the string of comments has been odd to say the least. The most recent part of the interesting portion came when one of her friends indicated that she had a crush on me.

She went on to describe me as follows: Well let's see... he's not handsome by conventional standards and he wears those ridiculous corduroy shorts. However, he reminds me of a big goofy frat boy and for some reason that's like eating oysters for me. Plus the fact that I actually get nervous around him is never a good sign... it means the crush factor is high. And his horrid rendition of Bohemian Rhapsody last night... well that was like a serenade. Let's work some magic... I don't have his number anymore.

So, I'm not handsome. I wear ridiculous clothes. I am horrid at Kareokee (ok, that last part I knew). But on the bright side, that works for somebody.

The Story of Sofa

About two years ago, after I had been in the Kickball world for a while, but not in the dodgeball world, the kickball leagues started up an offshoot league for bowling. At the bowling alley where we played, the scores were kept electronically and we were able to put in our names. Some of the other players had nicknames or just came up with something to put in as their bowling names. One had Sweet Nectar, another Mutha Fooqua, another Pancake Feet. They asked me what I wanted my name to be, and I said Sofa King. I am not sure why I chose that or how that popped into my head at that particular moment, but in retrospect it was very fortuitous. So each week, my team entered my name as Sofa King. And we were a loud team. When I'd get a strike, they'd yell "How Good is he? He's Sofa King Good." Keep in mind this bowling league was made up primarily of people who also played kickball. So, while in the bowling league a short spring season of kickball was about to start up and the team I normally play for somehow got full and I was left without a seat. So I was introduced to this guy named Corey. His team had sucked (actually it had been the league's joke, but that is another story) and I joined up. I played on this team with several people who I had played kickball against in the past and also bowled with. Come the first week, Corey was announcing where everyone was going to play (there was another Brad on the team) and Corey said "the other Brad in Left" and Sorrel (a girl I had played kickball against and bowled near during the season) said who is Brad? Turns out, she only knew me as Sofa. I guess you'd say that would be the moment that Sofa became my nickname.

Now, I introduce myself as Sofa. I've dropped the King as it is unnecessary, and people remember that name because it is so unique. Anyway, that is the story of origins of Sofa. The evolution of Sofa could probably use a full post, but that is what I have time for today.

How good is he?

Well, its official. I am Sofa King. Actually, I am just Sofa. The King part is really superfluous.

That is all.